Dubai

Dubai is becoming more and more of a metropolis. The unique tower being built here is being built by South Korea's Samsung company. The project itselt would cost about $1.14 billion dollars. The so called tower would be the world's larget tower and at the base they would build the world's largest shopping center. Here in this amazing city, would attract many tourists and would show the world to envision this futuristic scene. On the contrary I would like to add a personal opinion due to our world's suffering economy. How can a city alone take billions of dollars and make way for an attraction site where as the rest of the world is suffering. I truly do not understand this reasoning. I mean it's great that all of this is being built, however if no one can afford going to these attractions then what is the point of making such a grand city. So overall this is not the right scene.

FREE STUFF

Ok so if you are like me then you can appreciate what I am about to tell you. If you frequently shop at amazon.com or you are simply looking for a way to make some extra cash on the side then the website i am going to tell you about is for you. PointsToShop.com is the best site. You take surveys and even play games to earn "points" which earn you money. I say free money because there is no fee to signup, no credit card needed, you dont even have to use your real email address, make one specifically for this site so you dont have to deal with any junk email. Each point is worth a penny, 100 points gets you $1.00. in my fist day as a member to this site i made $20 worth points that i can either use to spend on amazon or exchange for cash, sitting at home on my computer. It works, i guarentee it, i personally to date have earned about $300 doing nothing more than playing games and taking surveys in my spare time. You really have nothing to lose, just give it a try. If you click the banner or the link above and signup, you will start with a bonus of 250 points, you get $2.50 just for signing up. There are no gimmicks or risks involved, the time you put in determines how much you get. Once you get the hang of it you wont have spend another dime on amazon.com. As the professor mentions in class, its all about the money, and althought this site wont help pay the bills, it can definetly get you that spending money. Give it a try PointsToShop.com !

Banrupt on Selling

Modest Mouse Cover

Stare at the Sun

Thrice Cover

Untitled

Here's another poem

I glided my tongue across pearl sharp teeth. Remembering my own body. Funny how when you get older you become less familiar with yourself. Staring out of jump seat trying to see the world for the first time again. Closing my eyes after turn when street looks lonely. slower now. Its slowed down so much. And in silence my mind is less friendly. My quite expressionless fears of time moving faster than the speed of my own experience. I am the ink blot good time traveler. Leaving behind a someone that I used to know ephemeral was I good company or not. So we must keep moving. Bounce faster than the speed of truth and self reflection. Faster than wrong decisions. Faster than. Relocate some future strange newness and take no time to figure out where it comes up short. There are no trains anymore. We tore up the rails and used the metal to stake ourselves down. To stay dormant and silent in somewhere. We cannot flee without consequence. Our migration the death of the world smoke and haze that tears an environment we owe nothing to. Move move move. Again. Move. Turn out your pockets and unpack your bags on the highway of never ending route. Turn out your desires and turn on the lights. Burn. Burn. The sulfer explosion for as long as it can take it. And remember our bodies of summer scraping warmth.

Pandora

I've been listening to Pandora for most of the day. I have it set up to "Au Revoir Simon" radio. They are one of my favortite groups. Three ladies with Casio's and beautiful songs. I got to see them in the city earlier this year, spectacular. I think the best thing about Pandora is that it play songs you probably are going to love but never heard before. I think listening to a song without know the lyrics or the refrain coming up, whatever, is so much better. It's kind of how life should be, just beautiful suprises. A few of my favorties: Ingrid Michaelson Radio, Bluegrass Radio, Wu-Tang Clan Radio. I've never really been one to learn or study an artist, I like to experience their art without much delving into who these people are. I feel like art is more for us to reflect on ourselves then try to figure out what someone is trying to tell us. The ambiguty of the artists on Pandora is really great for that

Is it Monday yet?

I met this girl at my job last sunday. I was bartending and she was one of the photographers for the wedding. It's weird when you catch someones eye and both of you just sort of think the same thing, and you both know it. Numbers were exchanged and we've got plans to meet up in the city on monday. Im pretty excited about it. So excited in fact that it's hard to do anything (lets say knock out a bunch of blogs). I got cheap tickets to go see avenue q which i hear is pretty awesome, but other than that i think were just going to figure the day out as it goes along. this is my first day off in so long and i just want it to be over

TOOOO CUTE ! Hahaha never know children are listen. But this is my last blog had a good time in this class , I learned a lot and I appreciate it !

9- 5

Well the the heat wave is OVERRRR! thank you the rain started falling yesterday. But any who Yesterday was an interesting day I worked my first 9 to 5 office job. Pretty much I was filing papers , using excel, copying and working on a project for weight lose for patients. FYI I work in a Doctors office. And its cool a nice comfy job , that is relaxed.
But I do not know if a 9- 5 for me , I feel like Im missing excitement! So maybe the office job is not necessary for me but hey I still got 3 more years of this college thing at least for me to decided. Hopefully I will be able to figure out what direction I want to go, and will be able to become an owner of a company in the field I am interested.

On the 7th day

Well it's Friday night ( Sat morning technically) and tommorow is my first day off in a loooong time. I'm going to try to knowck as many of these out as I can. I'm not sure if i"ll make it to 50 but I hope that this is more of a qualatative assignment rather than quantatative. I've tried pretty hard to really write about things that are important to me, but everyone else has as well for the most part. I intend to sleep for as long as my body will allow tongiht, which I'm assuming with be near comatose. I think they said it might rain tommorow which is a shame because I still haven't been to the beach once this year. I lived in the midwest, landlocked, for a couple of years and not being able to see the ocean was always my biggest complaint. I'd better get out there soon!

50th

And this post makes 50. I have to say that this class has been rather interesting and very much unlike other classes I've taken at Stony Brook.

I learned much in the short time we had. I'm going to attempt to keep up with some photoshop work because I think it could be beneficial to me in the future.

Sketch-up and I had some difficulties, and I can't really see myself using it in the future, but I imagine someone benefited from it.

Flash was interesting and I wish I had been able to spend more time on it because we really only got to skim the surface of it and I think there is so much more I could accomplish with it. Maybe I'll end up taking a course on it.

Well I hope everyone enjoys their summer. Mine officially starts now!

Music

Last week, I went to see the James Taylor/Carole King concert. It got me thinking about the state of the recording industry today. Would a woman like Carole King be able to find success today? I'm just not sure. She didn't have a gimmick back in the day. She was a songwriter who tried her best to become a performer also.

If she came out today, I don't think we would have gotten an album like Tapestry. Or we would have, but a hot chick would be singing all of the songs. It's unfortunate, but that appears to be the state that we're in.

This is part of the reason why Lady GaGa is trying to be so outrageous. Without all of her craziness, would people have taken notice of her? If she got rid of all the gimmicks today, she'd be fine and still be successful, but starting out, no one would have ever given her the time of day.

My parents were awesome.

My friend made this website a little while ago: http://myparentswereawesome.tumblr.com/


He gets a lot of people to send in photos of the parents before they were parents. He is currently taking some of the photos and publishing a book because of the amount of interest the website has been given.

I've gone through much of the website and find the photos to be so interesting. It's similar to that of the class assignment we had. I had to explore my parents and grandparents in a light where they were no longer parents, but actual people.

I think it would be beneficial for everyone to view their parents in this light. After all, people don't lose who they are when they have kids.

Reality tv

Why are reality show stars famous? These are talentless people who should not be allowed to be on tv in the first place. Why is the world so fascinated by reality tv? Personally, I think it's boring. And most of it isn't even real anyway. Half the shows are scripted to some extent or at the very least, the "stars" are put into situations conjured up by the producers.

The fact that we know who Heidi and Spencer are is terrible and it would be acceptable to me if they faded into oblivion after losing all of their "hard earned money."

Anyone who has 10 elective surgeries in a day is deplorable in my book. This girl wasn't physically unattractive before, but her horrid personality made her ugly. No amount of plastic surgery could ever remedy that.

Beaches

A friend of mine is down in Mississippi working on cleaning up the oil spill and it got me thinking: while we can enjoy our beaches for now, how much longer are they going to be clean?

And by going in the water, even though it appears clean, are we risking our health? Animals are already starting to be affected by this spill, so what makes us think that we won't be?

When will this spill be cleaned up? Will it ever be cleaned up? The first thing that needs to be done is it needs to be stopped, but people seem to be dragging their feet or at a loss for how to stop the oil from flowing.

When will BP decide that people are more important than money?

uh basketball.

Once again, as they did with the World Cup, people who never cared about basketball before suddenly care about Lebron James and what decision he made last night.

I think it bothers me most because I know a lot of these people very well and know that they're being fake in order to try to impress others. I don't talk about sports because I don't watch sports. I like to go to sporting events every once in a while, but I don't pretend to know what's going on all of the time and mostly I just go because it's a fun experience.

So who cares about Lebron James? Basketball fans do. Non-basketball fans shouldn't pretend to be fans one day out the year. Are you really being true to yourself when you feel the need to lie about something as trivial as caring about certain sports that we all know you don't care about?

Nominations

I like award shows. They're very interesting. I think it's intriguing to see the way people vote each year. Usually it's all the same people being nominated over and over, but for the Emmys this year, there have been some big changes. Yes, the old standards are nominated (and some of them will win), but the amount of newbies is fantastic.

I'm especially happy for the cast of Modern Family. While it's not breaking any boundaries, it is opening up the general viewing public to a new meaning of family. It's not just all about the Brady Bunch anymore. There are families that come in different packaging, yet are just as close as any others.

From a time when a husband and wife didn't even sleep in the same bed on tv, the industry is finally showing some progress, although it's been at a glacial pace. I hope it keeps moving in the right direction.

Charity benefits

In May, a friend and I went to a benefit for a cancer foundation. We were excited to go because it seemed like it was going to be a fun experience. And it was fun (so was the free wine), but it was also odd and we felt very out of place.

First off, the amount of socialites and wannabe celebrities that were there was absolutely outrageous. We could tell that these were people who didn't actually care about the foundation, but just went to every benefit under the sun in order to attempt to get their names out there. It would have bothered me more if they hadn't spent an exorbinant amount of money to come and to auction.

I met an actual celebrity there. He was the host. I use to the term celebrity very loosely because it was Al Roker. The most famous weather man in the world, apparently. Well, he was boring as anything. My friend and I got our picture taken with him because there wasn't much else to do, but he didn't really find his personality until he got on the stage. And he also left early. I would have been disappointed if I had ever cared about him in the first place.

Creepy Crawly

I got attacked by bugs last night. Not really attacked, but there were a bunch in my basement and I felt like I was being attacked.

I have an irrational (or is it?) fear of insects. I know they are so small, but they are so scary to me. Just thinking about them makes my skin crawl, so you can imagine what typing about them is doing.

Someone asked me to go to a butterfly exhibit one time and I had to refuse because while some may think butterflies are beautiful, I think they are frightening. If one landed on me, I don't know that I'd be able to prevent myself from slapping it off me and possibly injuring it. As much as I don't like to kill anything, my fear comes into play and I kind of go into a "it's me or them" mode. Why are such little, mostly harmless creatures such a big deal to me?

Italia

My dream vacation is to go to Italy. That's actually going to be my graduation present. I don't want a party, I just want to go to Italy.

I've been learning about Italy for years and have read a bunch of books on it. It looks so beautiful in pictures, so I can't even imagine how it would look in person.

I'm most excited to go to Capri and Venice. It would probably take a couple of trips to see everything that I want to see in Italy, but it would be worth it.

Just the amount of history that is flowing from all of the towns and cities is incredible and the stories behind everything are amazing. I'm very excited to be able to view such important works.

Long Island

Are people still watching the show, The Jersey Shore? Is it currently on?

I had seen a couple of episodes in passing and I must admit that it was like a trainwreck. I so wanted to look away, but I couldn't. Are these people for real? The answer to that is: a resounding yes.

They are, unfortunately, very real. And they are plaguing my world. I am from Long Island (which is often compared with the Jersey Shore) and I am nothing like these people. They are giving the good Long Islander/New Jerseyers a bad name.

People who are new here often think much less of Long Island because of the bad rap that it gets, but it's not that different from anywhere else. You just need to know where to look to find the right people.

That being said, I am going to move off the island in a bit, just to be able to experience life outside of this overcrowded little place.

Too much work.

This is my last weekend of working. I asked my boss to give me off most weekends for now because it just became too much to handle. What with two jobs and going to school, I was getting overwhelmed.

All I have to do is get through tomorrow (and I hope I can go home early) and I'll be set. I have off on Sunday and I'm finally going to go to the beach. Hope I remember that I am super pale and I don't try to overdo it and end up looking like a lobster.

I got a little burnt over a week ago and I am still red. That cannot be healthy. I should have been smarter about my skin. After all, it is the largest organ of the body and I definitely do not want wrinkles before they're due. It's bad enough that the grays are coming...

the sims

I can't believe people spend (what probably is) a lot of time to make a Sims music video for any song, much less a really bad one. Think of how creative these people could be if they spent time doing other things instead of reenacting a Katy Perry video.

Attempt 5604

Just another one of my attempts at sketchup. It's a grass covered shack with no way to get in and out, but it does have a sweet breezeway. Ugh.

Film Industry

Did we really need a new Karate Kid movie? Was the original film and its subsequent sequels so groundbreaking that they would need to be remade? I don't think so. It's all just becoming ridiculous. Now there's talk of a Spiderman "re-boot." It's absolutely ridiculous that films that came out in the 2000s are already being remade.

The problem is that Hollywood is having difficulty coming up with new ideas. Yes, there are some quality ones out there, but they are mostly put onto the screen by independent companies. The big production companies want to go with what will earn the most amount of money--and that's something that has been done before.

I'm hoping eventually people will get bored with this process and new ideas will be allowed.

Seasons

Why is it that we tend to feel better in the summer and spring months than we do in the fall and winter months? I don't get really depressed in the winter, but there is definitely a higher level of happiness in the warmer months.

Everyone seems to want to go out more often too. It's like all of a sudden people remembered that they are capable of having fun and going out. Do the seasons affect our mental well being? Studies have shown that people do experience seasonal depression and while temporary, they can be very difficult to deal with.

I know winter months are tougher to get through. Maybe it has to do with the hours of sunlight we have per day. Sunlight makes people happier, right? Or maybe it just has to do with the fact that people are spending more time outside. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that I feel happier so I'm noticing that others are also. Maybe they were happy the whole time and I never noticed.

Tweet it up.

Everything I don't think I can write on facebook (but want to type out anyway) goes on my twitter account. Most of the time what I've written is a reaction someone else's stupid status on facebook. I had gotten to the point where I was writing out replies to people on their statuses and almost posting them. They weren't nice and I figured these people must think others care, so why not just let them live with this notion.

I've gotten to the point where I have hidden people on facebook because I cannot bear to read the ridiculousness anymore. I have one friend who is constantly talking about how he wants us to join Arbonne cosmetics (or a pyramid scheme) and make lots of money. And he keeps posting about how he's going to be up for a Mercedes by the end of the month just by selling Arbonne. Not only do I not believe him, but if I wanted to read advertisements for stupid things, I'd drive down to Atlantic City and read all the billboards as I go by.

I think a post every few days is pretty acceptable, but every few hours? Every few minutes? Now that's a bit too much. I'll stick to ranting on twitter.

Second Life

Did a couple of trials of Second life as a few different people. I tried to stay in the same area and do the same things and talk to the same people, but as different characters. I started out as a woman and mostly got ignored by the majority of people who were there (who were mostly women). Then I tried three different men: a goth, a preppy and a rocker. The rocker was by far the most popular with one woman falling to the ground all around him doing the "we're not worthy" pose over and over. Weird stuff.

Cheating

I met a couple recently who have been together for about 5 years. He's married, but not to her. His wife apparently has no idea. It's not really any of my business about these two individuals' personal choices, but it got me thinking about similar situations.

First off, do the wives of cheating husbands (or vice versa) really not know about what is going on behind their backs? I bet they have some idea, but are just turning a blind eye to it.

My other question is, if someone is unhappy, why wouldn't he or she just leave? Are you really doing your spouse a service by lying behind his or her back? Monogamy sometimes doesn't work. It's not a failure, it just happens to be the case sometimes. There happen to be many people who can have a completely monogamous relationship, but there are many who cannot. Is it really fair to string others along? I guess it just has to do with circumstances.

Mad Men

Mad Men is, stylistically, one of the best shows on tv. Not only are the costumes and fashions beautiful, but so are the colors and themes. The actors and actresses fit so perfectly in the 1960s setting that it's amazing that they belong to the 2000s.

I also find it cool that Don Draper, the main character, is so flawed. He lives a far from perfect life, but if you ever met him for the first time, you'd never be able to tell. His personal life is a mess, but his professional life is flourishing. It's a common issue that has been rarely addressed in shows of the past, but seems to be a much more prominent theme now.

While much of what happens in Mad Men may be a little over the top, I believe that everyone could relate to just one character. The bored housewife, the philandering husband, the pre-feminist feminist, the determined young man who will do anything to get ahead... the list goes on and on. These characters can all be found in real life, but the amusing thing to figure out who falls where.

Commercials

Sometimes I think it would be so interesting to be an ad executive. With DVR these days, I rarely watch commercials, but there are a few that I will see that have me entertained. Now that DVR has infiltrated every day life, I wonder what the marketing companies are doing to catch a consumer's attention.

If I have to watch commercials, I fascinate myself with trying to figure out which celebrity is narrating each commercial. You'd be surprised with the amount of celebrities who are toting brands that you would never think fit this person.

That to me is a fun game I play if I am watching, but it doesn't make me want to purchase any products any more than I would have in the past. Are these voices added to entice us or just because it's easy to score a celebrity looking for a little extra income on the side? Ad executives have a tough job ahead of them now that so many more people are able to fast-forward through commercials. The next thing they'll decide is to have every actor wear a shirt with a brand on it. It's happened already on some shows.

Tolerance

I'm trying to be calm, but I think I'm easily offended by things people say. I have to be vague, as to avoid pissing people off, but there are certain aspects of one's lifestyle that are not "choices."

The same way you and I cannot choose our sexual orientation, a gay person cannot choose either. It bothers me so much when people just assume that one chooses to be a certain way.

Yes everyone makes choices regarding character and decisions, but sexual orientation is not one of these choices. I wish we could all accept this fact. It's simple to do so because would you be able to wake up one morning and change your sexual orientation? Well neither can anyone else. Once again, tolerance is key. People come in all different forms and until we are ready to accept everyone, the world will be an unhappy place.

California

So what are the perks of California? Well one of them is being able to drive down a highway with a beautiful ocean view immediately to your right or left. This summer, I'm driving down the coast from San Francisco to L.A. and I absolutely cannot wait. I have been to both those cities before, but I have never stopped in the ones in between.

I know the lifestyle in California is perceived to be very different from the east coast, but it is truly lovely, no matter what. It is by far one of my favorite places. When I graduate, I would like to move there, for a short time at least.

To me, California will open up many opportunities that I may not have over here and will be an experience out of my comfort zone, which I think is a good thing. I cannot wait to be able to explore who I am when I am out of the direct reach of my family and friends. Will I be able to handle it? Only time will tell.

my flash family

publishing

Can anyone write a published novel these days? The other day I read an article which stated that because products like the Kindle and Ipad are becoming more prominent for readers, it's going to be much easier to publish a book.

I can see this being both good and bad. I believe it could be bad because the amount of content one has to weed through currently in order to find something good is tremendous, but I couldn't even imagine it if everyone could have his works published.

I do see it as a good thing though because I'm sure there are hundreds of people who are very talented who have never been able to get published. This technology can open doors for people that have never been opened before.

Let's just hope that there's more Everything Is Illuminated and less Twilight.

Dalai Lama

Just finished my Eastern Religions class today. I found it to be really interesting. I think it's very important to study different cultures and religions besides our own. We could all stand to learn from one another.

I am especially interested in the Dalai Lama. We watched a film about him and Tibetan Buddhism and he was so intriguing. Just the sheer fact that he is not even allowed back in Tibet, yet he still has hundreds of thousands of followers and devotees, means that he really must hold some sort of power or knowledge.

I found it so interesting that the Dalai Lama will often side with Science over religion because science is based in fact. Not that all religion must do this, but I believe it would be beneficial for all different groups to at least explore the possibility of different ideas. Maybe it would make us all a bit more tolerant.

Sketch Up

Professor

I could not upload sketchup to youtube so sara gave me a site that I could send it to you through email , hopefully you get it!

my last post!

so this completes my 50 posts yay :)

and i wanted to talk about voyerism: the idea of people watching with no necessary sexual intentions. When in class I first read this, I thought it was a really CREEPY concept, like who stares at other people. But then as we talked more and more about it, I realized we all do it, every single day. For example; I live in Kelly Quad at Stony Brook and we have balconies, so my roomate and I early mornings or late nights on Thursdays and Fridays when we decide to stay in, go out on the balcony and see what other people are upto. Sometimes we see people we know trip over a branch, struggle with the keys, drop things and its actually a lot of fun to watch from far and just laugh at them. One time, when there was a snow storm, my friends and I just sat at our window and watched these 2 boys play in the snow, make a snowman, have a snowball fight.

Many of the times, when you are people watching, its unintentional. Like you are just staring in space and happen to see someone do something embarassing, or something cute. A lot of the times, a group of friends may just sit down at a bench in the park, or the beach and check out girls/guys.

The concept of voyerism was also showed in the T.V. show FRIENDS. The FRIENDS always used to stare from their big window in the city apartment across the street at the ugly naked guy. None of them had any sexual attraction or intention towards the guy but watched him for fun, plain entertainment.

some clips from friends:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc-aiNph3y8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpKdXS_1XlI

Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate

I read Brad Warners first book: Hardcore Zen: Punk Rock, Monster Movies, & the Truth about Reality, and his second book called Sit Down and Shut up: Punk Rock Commentaries on Buddha, God, Truth Sex, Death and Dogen's Treasury of the Right Dharma Eye. The first one was the best one so far, and it really helped me gain a different perspective on life; and I can honestly say that I still benefit from that read(I read the book probably 6 years ago).

The biggest effect the firs book had on me was realizing that probably 85-90% of the things I was always worried about, really wasn't as important as they seemed to be, and I should care about them as much. For example, getting into arguments with my mother and sister don't get on my nerves nearly as much as it used to. I learned to laugh at the triviality of it, and brush it all of. Seriously, I really developed a talent for not giving a * about things like that.

I actually just found out that he wrote this new one, and I definitely have to go and pick this one up. I don't know if it will be as good as the first, but neither was the second one; however I still managed to walk away with some jewels(valuable life lessons and insight).

Morning Traffic Jams

Most of the times I'm late is because of traffic on the highway. I commute from Brooklyn to get to Stony Brook, so I have to go through four highways: Belt Parkway -> Cross Island Expressway -> Long Island Expressway -> Nicholas Road. Four highways of people who do all types of stupid things. One thing I hate is when I'm going really fast but then, some guy doing like 55 switches into the lane really suddenly and I have to break hard as hell --and he just slows everyone up.

Then there are the people who love to drive next to each other, and you can't pass any of them by. Or the people who don't want to let you through when you enter the highway, but once you're finally in, they're not even going fast or anything, so they couldn't just let you in, they were just being dicks about it. And, of course, accidents --which can be over and done with for about 20 minutes, but it still causes traffic jams because people want to be nosy. One morning though, I seen a car flipped over on its roof. People *really* slowed down for that one (I did too, I can't lie)

It also seems like the simplest things can jam up the whole highway. Repercussions from one lane being closed can be felt from miles and miles away. I wake up on time every morning for class (6am), but sometimes there are traffic jams on three out of the four highways, and it just eats up so much time. There are times you can cheat though, and jump in the HOV lane, but you have to be careful once you get to the 50's neighborhood (exit 50's), because those highway troopers are all around.

This is Erykah Badu's video of Window Seat . Alittle old but In the end off the video , which is just a documentary of her , she gets naked and gets shot. I love the idea of here filming a "reality video" if you will was great. She was trying to make a statment and show that she should have the freedom in a free country to liberate her self. In this case the liberating was to be naked and I feel the shooting herself was to show that her freewill was shot down to conform to the norm. Watch the video .

I phone 4 ? Is it worth it

So the new I phone 4g came out! And it is the phone to have . Everyone wants this new phone. It has a new design of mostly glass encasing with metal sides. With 2 Cameras with a higher resolution, video chatting capabilities , quicker and more efficient people are so excited about this new phone. But There are a lot of down sides .. like it has lower memory then the previous I Phone also it drops call and is fragile. But I think having an I Phone is not just to have a cool gadget but having the I Phone or a Blackberry is really a symbol for status to show that you are of somebody of "importance". Anyway here are some images of the new phone.

Final Project again

Professor,

So heres my movie again. I changed the audio so I could put it onto youtube, but it lost the narration that my mom had talking about her adoption.

I did show it in class and Sara did see it, if this one is good I'll keep it unless there is a way to email it because it keeps telling me that the file is too large!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tm4OOPZhz4A

Still debating on Nikon vs. Cannon

I still haven't completely decided on the whether I'm getting that D90 or one of the cheaper Cannon counterparts. I excited to start working with a good quality camera and I have alot of creative ideas that I'd like work on, with some good quality pictures. Photoshop is really fun to work with, especailly if you have a really good quality picture to work on and add specail effects.

I don't want to get into any issues with "borrowing" anyone elses pictures online, and modifying them via photoshop because its still a derivative work of theirs, and permission is still required for that. I thought of just calling it fan art, but I think the owner of the work may still request for it to be taken down off the site.

Anyway, instead of doing all that, I decided I'd just get a professional camera and get my own pictures --of everything. There are sites online that sell really trivial pictures such as: a picture of someone's hand, or finger, or etc. and they are being sold for $5 sometimes more each, and ther is even a limit to how many times you can use it and on how many pieces of work you can incorporate it(what a rip-off). I can' wait to start working on my own photos.

Creativity and Art

If I didn't do computer science, this (or perhaps civil engineering) would be what I'd go for. Even right now, I'm considering doing a graduate degree in that field, depending on what the requirements are, and what "catch up" classes I'd have to take. I have appreciation for all types of art and for anyting that takes alot of skill to accomplish.

I have alot of business ideas and ventures I'm going to be starting, and getting into real estate development is one of them; hence my suggestion for low income houseing as a grant project. I could see myself buying up broken down, unwanted properties and turning them into luxury condos or homes --which is whats been happening all over Brookly, NY. Park Slope wasn't always the Park Slope it is now, neither was the Dumbo area.

I love seeing something how people can turn something so undesireable into something so valuable. And, this is true in many industries, I always enjoyed watching people modify their cars or custom motorcycles on T.V., I love seeing the finished product. I have alot of respect and admiration for creativity and skill, whereever it is applied.

Final Project

This is the youtube link to my family movie. It has no audio because when I used Audioswap it lost the dialogue of my mother talking. I am attempting to send the one with Audio to Professor Baldwin but for now this will do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tm4OOPZhz4A

Voyeurism Case In Mall

This guy apparently took his Voyeurism craft to the next level. I guess bordem and free time can really be dangerous for some people. The whole thing is funny, but at the same time, not funny because a child was involved.

I realize its some kind of sexual fetish for these people but I'm just wondering; if its really that serious, why did he go through all that trouble instead of just watching some porn or something from somewhere? All of that just seems stupid and unnecessary, unless its *that* important for them to look at people who are oblivious to the fact --which is probably the case I guess.

To each their own I guess.

I need a vacation

I haven't been on a vacation for a good while now, and I'm thinking of checkign out Dominican Republic. A friend of mine visited there not too long ago and he said it was great over there. He talked about how the women's skin over there seemed so clear and healthy, and that it was because of the food they eat. I thought to myself that it makes sense, its a small island where the population isn't enormous, so theres no real necessity for putting steroids and preservatives in the animals.

When he described how the beach was, I really wanted to go. I come from a Carribean family, but I've never been to a Carribean beach; the beaches where the water is clear enough to look at your feet, and warm (unlike the beaches here). I always wanted to try out jet skiing or scooba diving, but just never did for whatever reason.

I'm also debating whether or not I should go on one of those cruise trips on those huge cruise boats that have night clubs, resturaunts, swimming pools & etc. all on board. Those sounds like alot of fun, but I never got around to it either. I will have to choose one of these (or shit, maybe both) after graduation for sure. And, as I've said in an earlier post, London is also a definite stop; I always wanted to visist there.

More Sibling Rivalry

I guess my sister and I inherited my mother and my aunt's argumentative nature, because we end up getting in stupid arguments over nothing. Thats the worst thing about it, after all of it is over, it seems so stupid because its never over anything really important, and none of it was worth it. Sometimes we get into bickering sessions over who will call the pizza store to order the food. Stupid things like that.

I'm not going to say I'm always right, but I will say that it takes way more to get me upset than it takes for her to be upset. She is like my mother in that one thing said the wrong way will set them off automatically. As for me, people usually get aggrivated because I'm so carefree about things, and while they're going on and on about something trivial, I'm not really wasting much energy which makes them more aggrivated I guess. Oh she and my mother can get into it as well; that can be really funny, I usually enjoy those. They set eachother off so easily, that they argue almost as bad as my mother and aunt does.

Unecessary Infomation On T.V., Like Online

Social networkign sites and bloated blogs aren't the only mediums that useless garbage is spewed out at people. I have a friend who loves watching reality shows, and somehow always gets caught up in that type of stuff. What are people really watching when they watch these shows? I really doubt any of it is real, and the "acting" is horrible, so whats the point of watching these shows? I have a friend who's always following along with at least 2-3 of these dumbass shows, and she is actually intersted in finding out what happens next, like who gets "chosen" to stay on for the next show.

All these shows and other forms of entertainment really seems like mindless garbage to me, and I have a hard time seeing how people can be entertained by these things. Once in a while someone might say something funny on one of these shows, but there is no substance in it at all, and none of it is even real so whats the point of watching it? Whats the point of even calling it a "reality show"?

Maybe back in the day, the first "reality shows" were real, until it got to the point where they got so popular that everyone started fabricating their shows to try and make it more interesting than the other station's show, and now we have... This garbage. Blogs also show this type of behavior, they will take a story and twist it around, but its the same crap taken from another blog...

Music Genres

Right now, my favorite artist is Erykah Badu --she is considered the queen of the Neo-Soul genre. Its sounds like modern day R&B, but usually has a more jazzy feel, and a conscious message in the music. Neo-Soul really puts me in an easy going laid-back mood (and I'm a laid back person already), and makes me feel like I can relax. It just puts out a differnt type of energy, as opposed to say rap music, where right now, is nothing more than people telling you how succesful they are in a thousand different ways.

I've been exploring some Alternative Rock also, but this genre is so large, its intimidating. I've spoken to two people who can be considered "Rock heads" and are big fans of the genre, and neither of them have heard of the other's favorite band. The genre is so large, its hard to know where to get started. I don't consider myself a "Rock head" by any means, but out of the bands I tried listening to, Guns & Roses really stood out to me. I heard all their albums, and I can say I found a real appreciation for instruments --especiallly the guitar. I can sometimes just listen to a song only for the sake of listening to the guitar solo.

Rap Music

This music has really been getting on my nerves in the last few years, none of the new artists have much talent, and for some reason, they're getting all the publicity and are taken as the poster children of the entire genre... The only thing the media seems to want to show is the "ganster" sub-genre where the artists walk around with over-sized jewelry and their songs are not about anything intersting. I don't understand why certain people (Nas, Mos Def, Common, Talib Kweli) don't get more air time or pubilcity? It must be the "pay2play" games that are played among the radio stations. Certain garbage is played all day, everyday, for several months, while new artists who actually have substance in their music are seldom heard if ever. The genre already has a bad rap (no pun intended) to it, and none of these gimmick artists are making it any better.

Its like this is all some kind of a joke or something; its like the worst songs are purposely picked to be played on the radio, and the worst artists are picked so that they can be made into stars. This reminds me of that old Eddie Murphy movie trading places. Its as if two really wealthy men are having a bet, that they can take the worst possible "artist" and make him/her a star. Well, the guy who made the bet should be rolling in even more cash now, because he's been making really horrible stars.

The Lesbian Phenomina

I'm not against gays or anything like that, and I'm not one of those people who are homo-phobic because they've never really been around them. I've had to work with them in the work place, and all that. If they want to persue that type of life-style, well thats their business. But theres just something I've always wondered about the lesibians... I can completley understand their infatuation with women, women are beautiful...

What I don't understand are the lesbians that deal with women who look like men? I'm talking about the really masculine-looking women who wear "masculine" haircuts and dress in baggy clothing. Why? Whats the point? You're lesbian and you're only sexually attracted to *women* so, out of all the beautiful women out there, why do you settle down with a women who looks and dresses like a man? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of the whole "gay" thing?

Interracial Relationships

I have a friend thats about to have a baby with a women who happens to be white. I asked him questions about it because I always hear those types of relationships having to put up with alot of bullshit. He said their differences are what attracted them to one another, and that they actually have fun with it, instead of seeing it as a reason to avoid eachother. He said he deals with the occasional dirty or confused looks from people but its never anything too serious. He told me the games they play, like going to certain resturaunts just to see if they'll get dirty looks (for instance, he'll take her to a West Indian returaunt, and she'll take him to an Italian resturaunt). I told him he needs to watch for "dirty" food instead of worrying about the looks. Some people are that spiteful.

There are racist people from every race that are against interracial relationshops... My take on it is, there are beautiful women from all over the world, and it really doesn't matter to me what nationality they are, as long as they look good and can get along with me; and there are many ways a woman can look good, and all types of "beautiful complexions". If a woman is beautiful and you two get along, what is there for you to complain about? All that racist bullshit gets on my nerves. Personally the only interracial relationships I've been in were with women who were Hispanic. It didn't even feel much "different", since we were from the same neighborhood. I feel alot of this stuff is really exaggerated and brought out of proportion. Most of the time, the bullshit comes from the people's old-fashioned families and other people who should just mind their business anyway.

Flash files!

Flash files!

Heat Wave

I hate when the weather becomes so unbearably hot that you feel like you didn't take a shower. One of the worst parts is when you get into your car after its been sitting in the sun for hours and you take that wiff of hot air when you first sit down. Then you have to wait for the A/C to kick in, while you get burned by your seats --I don't know what to tell you if you have leather seats, you should just step outside adn take a walk.

The other day I took four showers throughout the day, and after 15 mintues outside it still felt like I was runnign 20 laps around the park and didn't take a shower. The humidity isn't as bad as I remember a year or two ago though, and I've just been trying to stay indoors. I really don't know how some people wear those long sleeved clothes and especailly the muslim women who choose to cover their entire face; it must be really uncommfortable walking around like that in this type of heat.

She says she can only fall in love once

I have a close friend and she always used to tell me that. She always said it would never be the same after the first time, and nothing will really live up to that first feeling. I don't think this is really true though; I think if it can be worse, then its possible for it to be better. I think the problem is people don't allow themselves to get that caught up in it after that as a defense mechanism, because that love shit can really fuck your head up.

Usually people end up falling in love with someone they'd never think they'd fall in love with --which was also true for me. The beginning felt like the best time in my life and the ending felt just as bad, proportionately. All in all, I'm glad I went though it and I absorbed alot from the whole experience. Two of the most powerful things that can change someone is falling in love, and money. These things can completey transform someone, to the point where you'd think you never really knew them --and you probably didn't. People hold alot of things back in their daily lives and once they have some reason to destroy all inhibitions, and really let themselves(their *true* selves) go, you may be suprised.

my 4th of july weekend

I forgot it was a holiday weekend until it was actually the fourth of July. I spent the earlier part of the weekend going to a funeral, which wasn't too bad because the guy who passed (a great uncle of mine) was 96, which is looked on as an accomplishment. I seen alot of family that I haven't seen in nearly 10 years, as I've mentioned in my ealier post why. There were some aunts I missed seeing and seeing them again brought back some really fond memories of family events, back when I was around 8 years old.

During the funeral mass, I had to step outside because my aunt and mother were whispering to each other and it started to look like they were aggrivatign each other. Contrary to almost all the other funerals I've been to, this was actually pretty peaceful: no wailing, or uncontrollable crying, noone screaming, or any of that kind of scenery. I guess it had alot to do with the fact that the man who passed was so old and his health started slipping --according to my father it was expected for a while.

The reception afterwards was really pleasant. You'd forget that it was a funeral reception --everyone was all smiles and there were people joking around; it felt like a family bbq years ago. Whenever my great uncle's daughter walked around though, people would quiet down some, and try to rememebr what the event was about. She seemed pretty peaceful though, and it looked like she had a nice time with everyone.

Sibling Rivalry

For whatever reason my mother and aunt never seem to be able to get along. I've heard stories about them being that way since they were kids, and how even their rivalry was notorious to even the neighbors. It never fails, whereever we travel to or whatever we're doing (dinner, vacation, etc.) if their together, it will only take a matter of time for them to go at it.

One of the things that really got on my mothers nerves was the way my aunt would give her "advice" on raising children. Even though my aunt is married, she has no children, so this gets my mother upset. My aunt also loves to brag about how young she looks (she does look very well for her age), and how my mother needs to stop "stressing out so much" because she (my mother) looks like the "older sister". This really pisses my mother off, and if anything else didn't set her off, this would usually be the button to press.

I usually laugh at their arguments, because its always my mother that gets the most upset, and hurls really bad insults at my aunt. If I laugh enough, they eventually join in laughing and the argument -which is almost always over bullshit- is diffused. My mother is the youngest, and she tells me that my aunt was always jealous of her for being her mother's favorite. I can sort of see that in a way, but I still think she overreacts over nothing.

Power Laces!

WOW! how lazy can we can get we can’t even tie our shoes now. See i completely for progression but this is just too much. Why are we using technology to replace processes that to me do not need to me expiated ....But anyway I think this is tooo funny.

my family sketch up

last post

so this is my 50th post. i want to apologize to those who read them because most of them were rants. i have to say it was nice to have an outlet, some place to just say what was on my mind, even when what was on my mind was really stupid. sketchup was fun to play around with, and it did remind me a lot of autocad. i am going to keep the program to fiddle around with when i get bored, and who knows what that could lead to down the line. most of the other programs were hard to get used to, and i don't know if i'll use them again. i am grateful for this class because i most likely would never have used garage band or iMovie and now i definitely will in the future, maybe as i'm making my real world audition tape!!!

sunrise and birds

i must be a really f*$%$d up person, because i get extremely annoyed every time i hear the birds chirping in the morning as the sun is rising. it could be the fact that i want to be asleep, and the cheeriness wants to make me die, or the fact that they make the same repetitive noises over and over again. this isn't the only time i thought about the birds this week. as i was walking around fire island sunday morning i came to this realization, and now it is happening all over again. i like birds, i just wsh they weren't so cheery when i am trying to sleep!

gaga tix

so a friend at work had a pair of gaga tickets and she asked me if i could help her sell them because she had to get rid of them. so my first instinct was like, i'll buy them. well i forgot that i was going to a sort of reunion on the same day of the concert. one of my friends is back home for a short period of time, and a bunch of my other friends who haven't seen each other in a really long time are getting together. me being a good friend decided not to buy the tickets, and i was sure they were gonna sell in seconds. to my surprise they didn't go that fast. the person was willing to get rid of them for a pretty great deal, seeing as how the cheapest tickets through ticketmaster were $195. they did end up selling, but i found it astonishing after trying to get tickets to the past 8 shows in nyc and having no luck, no one that i knew needed tickets.

All done with blog.

I never had a blog before so this was a new experience for me. It is interesting to read about what other people are thinking about. It is also nice when it is people that you do not know very well. I tend to try and figure people out by what they say and how they say it, I guess in this case type.

I enjoyed writing about things that were on my mind however I don't see me having a personal blog. I tend to keep those things to myself in my own journal that I keep. I pull it out every once in a while to write down what has been going on in my life, just so I have something to look back on.

My journal is unbelievable. You see how much I have changed as a person just by reading what I wrote. I was definitely a dependent passive girl when I was younger. I went through so much over a short time that I completely transformed. Sometimes I wish I wasn't at too opposite sides of the spectrum. I wish I was able to have a happy medium of being passive and aggressive. I guess since I was a doormat for so many years, I'm having that middle finger up attitude a little too often.

Home Videos

Watching home videos now are really hard for me. I miss how things use to be when I was a kid. I use to follow my brothers around with a banana as a gun, as they played cops and robbers. Who would have thought that that little girl would grow up into who I am now.

I love looking at the way me and my siblings acted and trying to see if our personalities were developed then, or they changed as we got older. My sister had attachment issues with my mother and she still does. My oldest brother was easily angered, but he has definitely calmed down. While my other brother hasn't changed at all. Always trying to make everyone laugh and definitely a smart human being.
I think that I have definitely changed. I use to be quiet and gentle. Now I am a loud obnoxious woman that will speak her mind in any situation.

The best part about home videos is looking at my parent's relationship. The way they were back then , makes me understand why they are the way they are now. It is sad to see that but I was fortunate enough to grow up with two parents that were still married. Unfortunately I think we were the only reasons they stayed married, but whatever works, i'll take it.

last sketchup

i made a fun little movie set using square and triangle as well as the 3-d warehouse

a brief look into my obsession

so after telling you about my dependency on credit cards i decided to validate that post by counting the pairs of jeans i have.

87

now i know it sounds kind of crazy, and it really is. i have them folded floor to ceiling in a series of shelves i put together. i do donate a lot of stuff though, if that makes it better in any way.

yeah perez!

i don't know why but every time i open the internet i have to go to perez hilton to see what's going on. it's my homepage so thats one of the reasons why i go every time in open the internet, but its almost like a sickness. i like seeing what's going on with things, and to tell you the truth, i have found out about some big things before from perez, and actually i was able to tell a lot of people first. i will say that sometimes he goes overboard, but everything is usually really funny. i think its a great blog.

a walking contradiction

i really hate to admit this, but i have so many contradictory statements running through my head at any given moment. i just told you how i want to get on the right track and get to a place where i can save money and move out on my own, and on the other hand all i want to do is quit my job. i really have been unhappy there for a while, and it's not the job, because i enjoy it (most of the time). i don't feel like i belong there. it just takes me back to what i really want to do with my life, and then i get pissed because i have no idea.

paper or plastic

i've been trying to renew my life, move in a way out of the dependency of plastic, but not in the normal way. with companies going green, emphasis on recycling, i want to use more paper and try to get rid of plastic. now you may be thinking i'm crazy but what i'm referring to is my use of cash versus credit cards. i've had credit cards since i turned 18 and it would be safe to say that my spending has gone into the 6 figure range. i have realized that i am not living smart, and in no way ready to move out on my own, because i have basically nothing. i am so grateful for everything y parents have done for me and keep doing in terms of supporting me, and i want to be able to turn it around and get to a place where i can get an apartment, move out of my house, andhave something of my own. with 7 credit cards under my name i reduced that to 1, for emergency use. recently it seems that i have been having way to many emergencies. i am serious about getting my spending under control, its just that it is so freakin' hard. i like to do a lot of stuff and buy a lot of things. this year is going to be the year that i turn it around though, because i want to be out of my house by 24. with my 23 birthday only a month away i am going to be cracking down, and getting my shit together, mainly because i don't have any other option. i hate the fact that i have worked for so many years and have no money saved. i told you guys about my plans to travel, and i know that wont happen unless i break my dependency on credit cards, and my wild spending.

Raining money

In Italy a bank truck crashed and was spilling out over 2 million euros. People were running through the streets and grabbing money. Now why can't that happen near me? If there were over 2 million dollars just floating in the street, I would put my game face on and collect as much as I could. Its like the pinata from heaven.

I think if that happened over here, there would be a lot more fights breaking out. I feel like people are extremely greedy and money driven in America, which is understandable since everything is so expensive now. If I could just get handed money rather than work 3 jobs, I'm going to be honest, I'll take it.

I do enjoy working and having something to do in a day but sometimes I feel like I work a lot harder than what I get paid. It frustrates me seeing celebrities and athletes making a disgusting amount of money and are set for life. Meanwhile you have people, like my father , that are almost 60 years old doing physical labor each day making enough to provide for the family for necessities. It doesn't seem fair to me.

My family & I, minus the video

so i made another family collage because the inkscape one i was working with was a corrupt file. the two were set up in similar ways seperating my self from my 2 sides of family. i wanted myself in the middle because i don't really know where i fit in, so i feel somewhere in the middle. i've always been somewhat on my own, which is kind of ironic seeing as how large my family is. staring in the top left is my mother's mom, and next to her is my grandfather who i never met. that side of my family is italian and they both came from big families. I guess that's why they had 8 children of their own and that's represented by the picture directly under them. those are my 5 uncles and 2 aunts. as a family they ran a pizza place in deer park, and it is actually where my parents met. beneath them is a picture from our annual family picnic. we don't have them anymore but for 20 years it was somewhat of a tradition. the rightmost picture in that grouping is a picture of my grandma and my great aunt, her sister and only remaining sibling. Surrounding me is my brother, sister, and three cousins. we all have names starting with K's except for my brother who is the oddball named Robert.

on the bottom of the opposite side is my dad's parents. my grandfather was in the navy. later he was a firefighter, then a police officer and you can see the double picture of him from when he retired as Amityville's Chief of Police. A chilling fact about my grandfather, was that he was the first responding officer to the Amityville Horror crime scene. A couple years ago, when they made the ryan reynolds remake, he was interviewed, and the interview is on the dvd. my dad's family was set up just like mine is. There were two boys and a girl, unfortunately i never met my aunt, his sister. to tell you the truth i do not know how she died, and it has never felt ok to ask. i have wondered before but i don't know what it would stir up. to tell you the truth feelings and talking about stuff is something i have never felt comfortable with, and i feel like it stems from my family. that's usually not something you attribute with family, mainly because families are supposed to be open and honest, but to a degree i don't feel comfortable with my family. i have always felt like i just don't belong, and that i am different. and to tell you the truth, i am different.

there has always been a lot of drama in both sides of my family. who's not talking to who, who owes who something, blah blah blah. everyone's ego is so big, and i feel like everyone is out to impress everyone else, it takes away from the good, and the biggest reason why i try to separate from my family as much as possible. the worst feeling i have bout my family is that it's fake. i don't know w=how to explain it, but i feel like it is.

over the last year my grandma on my mom's side has been sick, and it's really shitty seeing how everything is playing out. you would think everyone would be able to put everything aside and get over petty difference, bruised egos, power trips, etc. it's actually the complete opposite. everything is driven around money, and who doesn't want to pay for this or that, and it sickens me. referring back to the picture of my three cousins with my siblings and i, they are the ones out of my whole family who i really talk to. what's hard is the fact that everyone's ages are so spread out. my oldest cousin is 2 years younger than my mom, because she was the youngest. they are like my friends in the sense that we do a lot together and they are some of the few people who really "understand" me, and i'm putting understand in quotes because they are the only few that i feel comfortable being around, and i sometimes feel like they don't even get me.

getting back to my collage the pictures of me in the middle strewn about represent my moods, feelings, understanding, and realizations about everything around me and myself. i don't really know why i couldn't put this in words, but i've been trying to for weeks, and i can't get myself to talk about it. writing it seems a little safer. i don't know if i'm just tricking myself into feeling more comfortable, or trying to hide behind something, but i figure this way i'm still shedding light into myself and getting my story out there.

don't get me wrong, i had a great childhood. we had tons of parties mainly because there are so many goddamn people in my family. christmas took forever and we would open presents one at a time. it's not that i hate them in any way. i still do enjoy seeing them, but i'm able to see through them, if that makes sense.

my attempt at rainbow cookies

For the fourth of July, I tried to bake something. I decided to make rainbow cookies , I was feel ambitious. So I went to the store and bought all the ingredients and after spending $40 when I could have bought a batch for $6.99, I told myself these better be some badass cookies.

As I'm in the kitchen I had a few setbacks. I got so excited that the mix I made actually smelt like a rainbow cookie, that I proceeded to knock over the entire bowl of flour. Not the end of the world, just had to remeasure. Then when I was told to use 1 1/2 sticks of softened butter, I put it in the microwave and was left with a bowl of soup.

After all my setbacks I finally got them in the oven out baked and ready to eat. Then about 10 minutes later, my brother walks in to visit from the city. He works at a bakery and thought it would be nice to bring home 2 boxed of rainbow cookies....... reallllllly?

no sleep

So I've pretty much accepted the fact that I'm not sleeping tonight. I have so much work to do and I feel like I never have enough time to do it. It has been a really stressful last couple of days and somehow you need to hold yourself together.

I love being awake late at night but there comes a time where it really is time to go to bed. I am absolutely exhausted and I can only imagine what I am going to feel like going through my day tomorrow. I know the second I get home from school , I'm going to crash hard. Then I have to somehow go to work.

I'm opening my second 5 hour energy shot hoping it will last me. I am so happy the fist session is almost over and I got my credits done that I had to. Now if I was done with school for good then I'd be even happier however, I am convinced I will be in school until I am 30.

Variation and Conflict

Whichever way people are divided, the groups or subsets all have some reasons to feel they're the best. This is true in race, religions, nationalities, genders, just to name a few. I think alot of this stems from people's need to feel special. It seems like people like to create an entire whole world view in their minds based on them being the "best", or somehow superior. It becomes interesting when something happens in the real world that contradicts the fundamentals of their world and breaks the foundation.

I was reading a long thread on a science forum about who people believed the Ancient Egyptians where; in other words, what race they belonged to. White people argued they were white, Arabs argued for Arabs, and etc. The Egyptians were amazing people and it seems like everyone there just wanted to claim their culture as their own; as if this would change anything about themselves today.

I can understand that people want to give credit where credit is due, however some of them were really taking things overboard. Assuming the Egyptians were your race, what would this do for you right now? Would that eliminate any of your current real-world problems? Would this change you, or make you better somehow? I seriously doubt it. It can be amazing how two people can look at the exact same event or thing and perceive two completely different things or react in very different ways, when things stand to benefit them. Some people can completely disregard reality.

me in a box

so i thought it would be interesting to create a box to view myself using my pictures from my collage and a sketchup cube as a viewing mechanism. the person on the inside sees the pictures differently than the people on the outside, and i find that representation similar to how i feel about myself, and how people perceive me.

why am i crazy

i wish i knew why i did the things i do. some things come so easy and other things really don't. i have a lot of insecurities and that has stopped me from doing a lot of things ever since i was young. i find myself uncomfortable in a lot of situations and i really hate that because it has stopped me from putting myself out there, having fun, and starting relationships. now at 22 & 11/12 i'm trying not to hold myself back anymore. the whole self sabotage factor is really powerful, and is like a battle between good and evil every day. i want to know what's gonna flip the switch inside me and get things back on the track they should be.

McDonald's or the Gym

every day i have the greatest intensions, and want to make the best of it. there are things that i want to get done, but for whatever reason i never get around to doing them, or i just cant get myself to want to do. today, and almost every day this week, i've wanted to go to the gym. i haven't gone in a while and i neeeeeeed to get into better shape, and real fast. i have been eating a lot better than i was let's say six months ago. can i give you an answer why i ate McDonald's twice today? ummm no, and i know that that is terrible. i actually hate myself a little for doing it, but it's so damn good... until you finish everything in a way too short amount of time and feel like a beached whale. and then i'm like, "so much for the gym."

Preventive Medicine

So preventive medicine is a big deal these days, which I think is a great thing because illnesses that can be avoided should be avoided. But I do think that there's also something to be said about the rate that people are getting sick these days. Are we really able to prevent cancer with more frequent screenings? The answer to that is, yes and no.

There are some types of cancer that are much easier to treat if they are caught early and some that are virtually impossible to get if preventive measures are taken. But what about the other ones? The ones that show no warning signs and cannot be prevented? Are all of these extra tests really what we need?

I think it's great that someone can avoid a negative diagnosis, but I think it's irresponsible to put blinders on to all other forms of illness. While it's not good to live in fear of what may happen, I think it's also bad to act as though nothing will ever go wrong. Preventive testing is excellent, but until the day it gets rid of all possible diseases, we still need to be aware of what's happening around us.

Insomnia

I need to be up in less than 5 hours so I can go running and then have enough time to straighten my hair. My priorities are so good. I don't know why I'm still awake. If I were tired, I'd go to sleep, but it's just not happening. Even if I am exhausted, the second that my head hits the pillow, thoughts just go racing through.

If I wanted to, I'd always be able to take a nap during the day, but at night (when the majority are asleep), I am up and showing no signs of stopping. Do you ever wish you could turn your brain off at night?

And all I ever think about are trivial things about what I did during the day and how I have been feeling and blah blah blah. It's not normally anything pressing or anything that can't wait until the morning, but it's always there. If only I could do something productive with the amount of time I spend awake...

tanning

i love being tan. this summer is turning out to be a scorcher and i would love to be laying out every moment i get, but i just don't have the time. when i do have the time, it sucks out. so what am i supposed to do. well most people don't agree with this but i go tanning. i've been going for about 3 years now and i love getting a day at the beach tan within a couple of minutes. most of the time its actually relaxing. i've heard all the reports out there, everything about cancer and how tanning is terrible for you. for me, i don't know if i don't believe it or if i just don't care. nowadays what doesn't have adverse effects. it seems that everything we do in some ways is going to come back to bite us in the ass. this may be my superficial side rearing its ugly head, but if somethings going to happen to me, i might as well look good doing it.

...

So here's another sketch-up that I've worked on. I'm telling you, Sketch-up and I are not good friends.

What is marriage really?

I'm not completely against it, but I feel it is really overrated. I think if you want to stay together with your partner forever... You can simply stay together forever. When marriage comes into the picture, things get unnecessarily complicated. Most of the marriages in my family turned out into some kind of disaster. Even the ones that don't turn out into a complete disaster slowly degenerate, until the "bride and groom" separate, and start sleeping in different places.

In my house, my parents have been separated some years after I came along. They only stayed together because of my sister and I, and it showed. Sometimes I even feel a bit guilty about it even though there is nothing I can or could have done, but its depressing thinking about how they stayed miserable all those years just to try and keep up a front, and help everyone stay together. I'm really appreciative of that even though I never told either of them --we don't speak to each other that way.

I can agree with the idea of marriage (at least, one perspective of it); two people who want to profess their love for each other and celebrate it with family and friends. My father once even sat me and my sister down and told us not to get married. I thought this was really funny, and he laughed along with me but I knew he was being serious. I rarely "obeyed" him or listened to what he advised me to do, but this is one piece of advice I might end up following.

Sketch-up

Sketch up is a work in progress for me that will take much longer than 6 weeks to master.

Pepsi Refresh

I just saw a commercial for the Pepsi Refresh. The idea was really sweet and it was from a 10 year old girl. She had people donate old clothes and she made them into reusable shopping bags. The fact that such a young girl is contributing to society to help the environment is such a positive thing. I feel that the younger kids start by helping out, the more likely they are to grow up into appreciative adults, which are not that common these days.

I think I may try and submit an idea, it can't hurt to try. I'm not sure what it would be but I would to incorporate something with Autistic Children. I know from the boy that I babysit, he loves carnivals and bounce houses more than he loves anything else. I would love to have an interactive place where he could go where he could learn and also have fun.

where did 50 cent go?

So I saw the pictures of 50 cent losing all the weight for his movie hes doing. I think it is unbelievable how the human body can change, he doesn't even look like the same person. He doesn't look healthy for that matter.

People in hollywood lose and gain weight like they change their clothes. Meanwhile , everyone else has to bust their ass to try and drop a damn inch. It really is crazy that he was able to make such a transformation all for a movie.

When people lose weight, it really changes them. Even on shows like the biggest loser, some of them are unrecognizable. They look like they lose an entire person. Even though it is sometimes hard to believe how they even got that out of control big, it is still possible to lose it all.

Fears.

I think fears are extremely interesting. I always wonder, what makes someone so afraid of something, that doesn't phase the next person. How can you over come fears or even sometimes outgrow them? I have fears, some are ridiculous and some are clearly valid. I still don't know where the fears came from though.

When I was younger, I was afraid of thunderstorms and that is probably an understatement. I wouldn't go to school if I saw there were clouds in the forecast. I use to fake sick to come from and I would make my parents stay at soccer practice with me if a drop of rain fell. My fear began to take over my life and one day, it was gone. Now I find thunderstorms to be beautiful and I love to watch them and I don't understand what made me go through that transformation.

I also have a fear of birds. My friends think it is hysterical to be with me in the city as I dodge the 1203345 pigeons that roam the streets. However, to me, its not that much fun. I don't know why I am so afraid of birds but for some reason I start panicking when they are around me. Maybe one day i'll grow out of this fear too and be a crazy bird lady that lives alone with 100 birds in the middle of no where. As of right now though, I just want them to stay away from me.

The SK Lounge

Im pretty sure if you brought a girl here, she would run away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEzWsiJSd1c

I need to leave the country

After watching the world cup and everyone talking about their summer vacations, I really need to travel. I have never left the country before and I feel like I am missing out on so much that the world has to offer. I feel like sometimes I don't fit in in our society because I appreciate the little things in life that people pass each day without noticing.

I have an obsession with the night sky. I find myself sitting outside for hours just staring up at the moon and the stars and getting lost in my own thoughts. I would love nothing more than to be able to be somewhere without street lights and car tires interrupting my peace.

I have always wanted to go to Italy. Partly because I am Italian but also because how beautiful it looks and how loving and affectionate Italians are. I would love to try and go the end of the summer but I only have 8 days in between summer session and the fall semester. I feel like if I got to leave the country and experience how others live, I would really appreciate what I have and realize what I am missing.

Frustration

After I went to work the other day, my grandfather commented to the remaining family members that I must be rubbing off on my mom because she's been a bit snippy with him lately. I know this because my family told me when I got home because they thought it was funny. I did not. I'm glad I'm rubbing off on my mom, because what my grandfather takes as snippy, I take as being assertive and speaking my mind.

I think my grandfather expects a woman to cook his dinner and be quiet, but I refuse to keep my opinions quiet. There are just so many things that my grandparents say that are offensive to all people and shouldn't be tolerated. I just cannot keep my mouth shut when my grandmother says something racist as though it's fact.

I'm happy that my mother is finally becoming more assertive. It's about time that she speak up in regard to her opinion. My problem is that I need to learn to pick my battles. Especially with the old people. Apparently they don't take kindly to opinions that differ from their own.

Super Awesome Mario

I'm already in talk with several contractors. No big deal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1aHBLo5hBI

globalization

Almost forgot to post my image of globalization. Something about this just struck me because it can be taken in a few different ways. I have my thoughts on it, but I think it's much better if everyone makes their own assessments.

Family Video

I warn you. It's really good

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DySat1dQGlM

LL

I know I already wrote a post about Lindsay Lohan a few weeks ago, but in light of the news, I feel I must comment on her again. So do we think she's actually going to go to jail this time? Maybe she'll end up spending more than 28 minutes in there or whatever it was the last time she got in trouble.

Regardless of whether she actually does jail time, I think the best thing is the mandatory rehab. That's a must. Not that it will help if she doesn't believe that she has a problem, but at least it might take her out of the public eye a bit. And we all know that might come as a relief.

When celebrities go to rehab, they seem to go to cushy, day-spa like rehabs. I doubt they would go to a "real" rehab, but I imagine it might do some of them good. Instead of being pampered 24 hours a day, maybe if they saw the harsh reality of the real world, they would know what it would be like if they lost their fame and fortune (as would happen if they spend all of their $ on the cocaina).

As much as I dislike her, I hope the girl gets help. The last thing we need is to have our news sources plagued with another celebrity dying too young.

Oh Orpah

Oprah. Oprah. Oprah. What more can be said about Oprah? She's given so much praise in the media, but is she really all that great? Personally, I think she's a terrible interviewer and is kind of lifeless for the most part, unless she's shouting a celebrity's name or telling the audience that they're all getting new cars.

Why is she such a big phenomenon? What's so great about her? I, for one, am less than impressed, but the majority of the nation seems to be infatuated with her.

I do have to admit that the compilation below is such a source of entertainment for me, because she's absolutely ridiculous. I wonder if people would be disappointed if she started saying names normally...






Also, her name was supposed to be "Orpah," but whoever typed up her birth certificate misspelled it. I wonder if she would be the same person she is now if she were named differently.

my family movie

Donating Blood

Tomorrow I am donating blood for extra credit in one of my classes. I think it was a really good idea to offer this as an option because I feel many people never really think to go out of their way to donate. I definitely fall under that category, not that I don't want to donate , I just never think to look up when it is being offered.

I'm not going to lie, I'm a little nervous. The last time I donated blood, the nurse didn't really do a good job. My arm was bruised it looked I got attacked by something. Also, if its going to continue to be 100 degrees I don't know how well my body will handle losing blood.

At the end of the day though I am excited because I'm happy I'm doing something good with my time. I know I have the rarest blood type too so maybe it will be of use to someone that needs it. I just hope the nurse knows what she's doing this time.

reality tv are jokes

reality TV shows are getting more and more comical. The other night when I was out, I got to experience what really goes down. A woman approached me and asked if I wanted to be on an MTV reality show they were going to come out with. I really had no interest and wrote my number down to pretty much get her to leave me alone , not thinking she'd actually call.

She called me the next morning and explained to me it would be a dating show. I couldn't stop laughing. She said how they would come to my house and I would have to spend the weekend with two boys and my parents would pick the boy for me.

First off, she said that if my parents didn't want to do it, they would supply me with fill ins. Second, I said I had a boyfriend and she said he could play along. These shows are absolutely outrageous and I don't see how people see this as entertainment.And for the record, if you haven't guessed, I'm not doing the show.

Separation Anxiety

I have such separation anxiety. It's not even funny. My best friend went on her honeymoon last week and will be gone for three weeks. For some reason, not talking to her directly is making me crazy. I never realize how much I will miss a person until they're not sitting in front of me anymore.

I think I know where this anxiety stems from, but it's not easy to get rid of. I'm trying my hardest to keep it at bay because I will end up looking like a crazy person if I don't, but it's pretty much impossible. I think what I need most is to get rid of my selfishness and just deal with the fact that I can't always get what I want right when I want it.

That doesn't seem entirely fair that I'm so hard on myself, but it comes from years of self abuse, so I guess it's kind of par for the course. How am I going to do when I move? It seems scary and daunting, but maybe everyone will come visit me. Right?