The hardest decision I have had to make so far

I did a lot of thinking yesterday, while I was working on the projects for this class. I thought about what has been the hardest decision for me to make so far. After some serious mind wondering I came to the conclusion that it was the day that I finally decided to end my relationship with my son’s father. Many would say “of course, leaving someone you love because you realize it’s not healthy is a very hard decision to make” however, when I left my son’s father I wasn’t in love with him anymore. My love for him had died, several years ago. I made the mistake that many women make and remained by his side for the sake of my son and the dream of having that family life that everyone hopes to have when they are in love.

The reason why it was the hardest decision for me was because I had run out of patience. I knew I did not love my sons father anymore and I wondered how my decision to leave him would affect my son as he got older. The first couple of month’s were really hard because my son would cry a lot. He would ask me to come to his daddy’s house and I would have to explain to him why I couldn’t. Things got a lot more difficult when his father began to bring a woman over to sleep over when my son was at his place too. My son was wondering why if mommy and daddy were friends and this new woman was daddy’s friend too, why mommy couldn’t sleep over as well. I demanded that my sons father speak to my son and tell him the truth about the woman he was seeing so that he could understand the difference between the woman he was dating and his mommy.

My son was 5 yrs old when his father and I ended our relationship. He was still too young to understand. He is now 7 years old and is more aware of the situation. Still, I think about what he will ask me when he decides he wants to know the real reason why things did not work out, because the “sometimes grown-ups don’t get along anymore” reason doesn’t cut it anymore. I hope he can understand my reasons.