Siblings

Like it not, we are compared to others. When we are applying for colleges, we are being selected out of a group. When we are applying for a job, the same thing goes. We'd like to think that we aren't compared at home, but if you have any siblings, you know that isn't the case. We will always be measured not solely by our own achievements, but against the achievements of our brothers and sisters. I know that parents don't mean to do that, but they can't help it. If one of your sisters does well in math, but for you it is a difficult subject, you will automatically be chastised for not living up to her success. I have an older brother, an older sister, and a twin sister, and we all get compared to each other daily. It isn't done in a mean way, as our mother and father truly do appreciate all of us for our own unique abilities, but still, the competition is there. My twin and I have especially been compared over the years, as we were often in the same classes and we even go to the same college now. It sometimes feels like we have to make sure we do at least as well as the other is doing, so as not to get any comments about who the smarter twin is. It can be difficult when you can't escape the competetive nature in your own home. Though it can be tough, it is good to have somewhat of a driving force to help us achieve our very best. We only want the best for each other and are each other's biggest cheerleaders.

Rethinking

I'm sure everyone has done it. You're all set to go down one path and then maybe, just maybe, something doesn't strike you as perfect. Your plan doesn't seem so idlic anymore. There's something the matter with it, a little lingering doubt that can't be banished. The What Ifs come rushing in and suddenly everything is shaken.

This happens to me more often than not, ranging from thinking over what to have for dinner to the career choice I might have picked. This short term anxiety always passes with time (or thanks so some mind-numbing busy work), but still. The fact it exists can't be ignored. There must be a reason for me to rethink everything, more or less. What the reason is, I haven't the slightest idea. Self preservation? My subconscious trying to alert me to something?

Whatever it is, I just wish it would shut up and let me make my mistakes in peace.