Banrupt on Selling

Modest Mouse Cover

Stare at the Sun

Thrice Cover

Untitled

Here's another poem

I glided my tongue across pearl sharp teeth. Remembering my own body. Funny how when you get older you become less familiar with yourself. Staring out of jump seat trying to see the world for the first time again. Closing my eyes after turn when street looks lonely. slower now. Its slowed down so much. And in silence my mind is less friendly. My quite expressionless fears of time moving faster than the speed of my own experience. I am the ink blot good time traveler. Leaving behind a someone that I used to know ephemeral was I good company or not. So we must keep moving. Bounce faster than the speed of truth and self reflection. Faster than wrong decisions. Faster than. Relocate some future strange newness and take no time to figure out where it comes up short. There are no trains anymore. We tore up the rails and used the metal to stake ourselves down. To stay dormant and silent in somewhere. We cannot flee without consequence. Our migration the death of the world smoke and haze that tears an environment we owe nothing to. Move move move. Again. Move. Turn out your pockets and unpack your bags on the highway of never ending route. Turn out your desires and turn on the lights. Burn. Burn. The sulfer explosion for as long as it can take it. And remember our bodies of summer scraping warmth.

Pandora

I've been listening to Pandora for most of the day. I have it set up to "Au Revoir Simon" radio. They are one of my favortite groups. Three ladies with Casio's and beautiful songs. I got to see them in the city earlier this year, spectacular. I think the best thing about Pandora is that it play songs you probably are going to love but never heard before. I think listening to a song without know the lyrics or the refrain coming up, whatever, is so much better. It's kind of how life should be, just beautiful suprises. A few of my favorties: Ingrid Michaelson Radio, Bluegrass Radio, Wu-Tang Clan Radio. I've never really been one to learn or study an artist, I like to experience their art without much delving into who these people are. I feel like art is more for us to reflect on ourselves then try to figure out what someone is trying to tell us. The ambiguty of the artists on Pandora is really great for that

Is it Monday yet?

I met this girl at my job last sunday. I was bartending and she was one of the photographers for the wedding. It's weird when you catch someones eye and both of you just sort of think the same thing, and you both know it. Numbers were exchanged and we've got plans to meet up in the city on monday. Im pretty excited about it. So excited in fact that it's hard to do anything (lets say knock out a bunch of blogs). I got cheap tickets to go see avenue q which i hear is pretty awesome, but other than that i think were just going to figure the day out as it goes along. this is my first day off in so long and i just want it to be over

On the 7th day

Well it's Friday night ( Sat morning technically) and tommorow is my first day off in a loooong time. I'm going to try to knowck as many of these out as I can. I'm not sure if i"ll make it to 50 but I hope that this is more of a qualatative assignment rather than quantatative. I've tried pretty hard to really write about things that are important to me, but everyone else has as well for the most part. I intend to sleep for as long as my body will allow tongiht, which I'm assuming with be near comatose. I think they said it might rain tommorow which is a shame because I still haven't been to the beach once this year. I lived in the midwest, landlocked, for a couple of years and not being able to see the ocean was always my biggest complaint. I'd better get out there soon!

The SK Lounge

Im pretty sure if you brought a girl here, she would run away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEzWsiJSd1c

Super Awesome Mario

I'm already in talk with several contractors. No big deal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1aHBLo5hBI

Family Video

I warn you. It's really good

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DySat1dQGlM

Yea! Money

I love golf outings. Basically a company will rent out the golf course, usually on a Monday or a Tuesday. I work the bar, and generally its only beer, wine, and soda which is good because pulling all the liquor and doing inventory on it is what takes the most preptime, so without it, I don't have to do much. I think the guys came in around 1230 today and were completley out by around 2 and I made a nice chunk of change. I worked that wedding on sunday and split 30 bucks between 3 guys (lame). I think because these guys all work together so they want to show their coworkers how they are such good tippers. It's only a theory, kinda lame, but if it's money in my pocket, whatever. I'm telling you kids, try to get your foot in the door bartending. Most places won't hire you without experience but if you can find a way to barback or something, it is the best job for quick cash, which will help with the alcoholism that you'll develope

Down to the Wire

So, I've got one more day to finish the massive amounts of schoolwork I have left. This really came out of nowhere. This summer session is my first time working while going to school and it has proved way harder than I thought. When I first got this job I had really intended it to be part time, but I'm pushing 40 hours every week. And its very physical work so im always dead tired when I come home. Im pretty stressed out. I don't think I could maintain this level of work and school for too long. I really have to tip my hat to the people who do this for years. I've just got to buck up and get it done. One thing is for sure, after wed. I will feel like a new man.

My 4th

I worked from 9am to midnight yesterday. Missing holidays is not too big of a deal for me anymore. I was deployed on my 21st b-day and was on a mission in Afghanistan for one Thanksgiving. I got to see some fireworks when I went out for a smoke, I had a 360 veiw of them, it was beautiful. The nice thing is that after work, thought the 4th was technically over, we all went out in the parking lot and partied with some free booze the restaurant let us have. It was a really great time. I can have fun pretty much everywhere and with anyone. If you get me in conversation I might be strong in opinion, but at the end of the day I try to enjoy everyone around me. I found out the catering chef has an unreal ability to throw crushed beer cans. I mean these things flew. I told him he's got to find some competition for it, I'm willing to bet one exists. Oh, plus I got paid time and a half for working on a holiday. Not too shabby. Way to go, work...

Re: What's so good about beer?

I liked reading Chia-Ling's post about alcohol. I think beer is delicious. Wine = super awesome. And there's nothing better than sipping a Manhattan made with good bourbon. Each one of those is sort of a step up in aquired taste I think. I remember having my first beer and not really seeing what all the fuss is about. I'm not sure when that transition happens and I know it dosen't happen in everyone. I do drink a lot, but it never effects (or affects, I'm awful with that) my work or school, it's just destroying my body from the inside. Meh, we gotta go sometime. I do agree with what Chia-Ling said about people more so acting like their drunk. It def depends on the person. I think a lot of people have one drink and then start saying all sorts of things they wouldn't. But a lot of people do honestly get drunk and say stuff they don't intend to, even if it's the truth. I've drank with all kinds of people and everyone reacts differently. That's why people should know their limits and for some maybe never drink at all. Chai-Ling, I'm a bartender so if you want some ideas for drinks that maybe taste better to you, I'm here

The future of learning good

Karin, the super cool lady in our class, had told me that online classes at Stony Brook were pretty terrible. I was looking forward to this one this summer because it would mean less time commuting. Wow. What an afwul, awful waste of time. Probably the best example of how ludacirs this concept is, is how the last midterm just went. Its a multiple choice test you take online, 50 questions, with I think like 40 min. to do them. The questions are, verbatim, given to you in the "lectures" online, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get an A doing nothing more then spending a half an hour before each test and going over said questions. I'm not learning anything or engaging my brain. Just getting some arbitrary points, towards an overall arbitrary grade. The funniest part is that for many people, as posted on the communication posty thingy, took the test and were only offered one choice on thier multuiple choice questions. Which were wrong. And they failed. Now these people, who I'm sure are plenty busy have to take it over again. It's just silly. This kind of stuff should not be the basis for how we judge individual intelligence/work ethic.

To Insure Proper Service

I'm not entirely sure why some people don't tip. It seems to me like if you can afford to spend money going out to eat, it's silly not to put in a extra few bucks. Like the 20 dollar surf and turf was in your budget but not 5 for the person who just personally looked after you and your friends/family? It's even wierder now that I'm bartending weddings. It's an open bar. These people pay nothing. They are putting drink after drink away. For some people they easily drink 100 dollars worth of booze. And not a buck. So you say, but that's what your paid to do. Fair enough. And it's not a bad arguement, but I just say why not? If you unload 5 bucks a night after I make you 10 drinks, is that going to be detrimental to your bank account? And wouldn't you just feel better and then I'd feel better and so on and so forth. I guess it really does get to me sometimes because it's such a small gesture yet many people refuse to do it. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of great tippers out there and they are much appreciated.

I like Lady Gaga

That's not an ironic statement. I walk around with her songs in my head, I've watched her videos on youtube, and I think she's pretty sexy. Papparazzi is def my favorite. It has such a tone of vulnerability, I think it's beautiful. I guess I'm one of those people who tends to be the voice of opposition. I'd probably defend her in a room full of people who didn't like her. I guess the reason I get excited about it, and speaking passionatley about something is never cool, is because I know so many really great performers soooo similar to her that I think are quite a bit better. And I truely believe that her popularity has nothing to do with her superior talent but simply marketing, which has been the case with popular music since it first came about. That is really the way it works. Record companies choose who will be the next big thing. That really takes some of the magic away for me when I think some aging buisiness man decided what art I would be experiencing. I suppose my frustration comes from my desire for people to have the same kind of amazing moments as I do when I here these unbelievable women such as Zola Jesus or Fever Ray (check them out). To each his own, of course. Everyone has different taste. I'm dissapointed in myself that I dont articulate that part of me very well. I also believe that progress and such comes about when people really express themselves, no matter how much of a dick it makes them look like.

Omaha

I can't apologize enough for denying everyone my company this morning. Im busy than I've ever been in my life. I don't like it. Here's a poem I wrote about Omaha. This counts as an entry right?

I can’t wont now turn back to our frosty mornings some place better than here romance. This city. This odd city. Where I experienced the small population so fully. It’s cold not as bitter in recollect but quiet and familiar. This city iron rust and brick of ancient money gone west and left the strong behind. I’ve never been more hypocritical than when I miss you. My older self then scorning the harsh wind walk out of stranger apartment and new sun drive home. This place where I caked on sweat of new flame and dirt of one night lying on open mattress. Meticulous roadways from ribbed brick road to lonely bar on god knows how far street. Where I drank the imports of back home comfort and spilled whiskey on my pants to make you less embarrassed. Again and again. How they had blurred in the present and are each unique in retro. This city. Where my legal status changed like the weather. You are a breath away. And now are a package of disorderly thought I knew better. I love the captive hurt always looking east to the abrupt end of this town. The Stockholm reality shown under mellow light of outdated infrastructure. This heart of America with no beat. The dead still walking playground shivering cigarette fix outside building deemed unfit for filthy habits. Bum ‘em and give standard explanation of smoke karma and how you’re always handing ‘em out when you’ve got ‘em. The addiction to conversation still outweighs the fear of the self-conscious. And drink. And money come from trees that I water with hatred. And drink come from money that I hand over with regret. And dollar jukebox come from songs in my car for free but no one there to listen. And listen. Listen to this. Tell me that you feel the way I do when you hear it. Tell me this makes you aware of your skin and chemical experience. Tell me then we know we are each other. And I’ll tell you. But with more focus on the corner of your mouth. Wrinkle of subtle pleasure to be a part and play it well my fellow. Listen to us, you city of red light stare across the lane at other intimacies. Listen to us cause we never have enough time to say it. Your crackling concrete that felt our soles on walks to horrors and strolls of ecstasy.

Coulda been a contender

I was pretty dissapointed when the U.S. lost at the World Cup today. I was working but there are a couple of TV's in the bar so I got to watch it almost in its entirity. I thought they played well, just couldnt find the back of the net. I look forward to a day when soccer might be huge in this country. I think the U.S. team making it this far will certainly help that cause. I've been to quite a few games here but it's usually embarrasing how many people show up. So why isn't it popular? I've heard many arguements as to the greatness or lack-there-of of footie, but I think there are two main reasons. If you look at the big three in this country (Base,Basket,Foot) the players are HUGE. Not some of them, all of them. They reflect the motto "Bigger, Faster, Stronger" not something like "Smarter, Dedicatedier, Trainingalotness". Yeah, Kobe has worked hard to get where he is. If I worked 10 times as hard, with twice as much luck, I'm still not going to play in the NBA. That's one theory. The other? Advertising. The mother of profits. Soccer leaves almost no room for this, which is awesome. These players don't get to take a break every 5 min. I guess, I'll have to be satiated with trips to Europe. Not a problem.

One for me and one for my homies

My boss invited me out to a show in the Village on Monday. We drank more on the train ride out than most people do in one night. I really enjoy drinking. I consider myself a very good drunk and have (almost) never experienced that blackout, stupid kind of intoxication. I usually just loosen up and feel great about the world, which I don't consider as unhealthy as some because I think that's who I really am inside, it let's me be myself. I completley disagree with any opinion one might have that that sounds like I have a drinking problem. I don't. I'm a grown up, I enjoy booze.
Anyways, that's not what I was getting to. So I'm nice and tight, but my boss is putting them down like I've never seen, and I've seen a few. But we have a great time. A truely fun evening. Saw the former guitar player for Miles Davis, met some cool people and had some great, personal conversation. Somehow, I remembered a song on the keys and played for the bar. I didn't put too much thought into what it would be like at work after this epic night with my supervisor so I had no expectations. But when I did go to work later this week, it was so wierd. He seems so ambivalent towards me. It's not really rejection that I'm feeling. He's a cool person but not someone I would have intention of hanging out with all the time. No, I feel wierd because it's the perfect example for me how many people are such liars. To themselves, to other people. I got to see who he really was the other night. And I know you can say who he is at work is who he really is as well, and I get the argument, but it's a lazy one. I'm not saying you are only yourself when your sloshed and hanging out, but why do people have to loose that personal touch in the "real" world. The irony is that I would rather work way harder for a friend then some blank authority figure. I reject that world. I want to live as the best of me, always.

Globalization